It would be a lie if I say nothing major happened lately, yet whether it’s going to the right direction or not, I guess only time will tell. I am tired of many things and I needed to change, as I was telling myself lately. Whether it’s for recharging myself or for taking a break from what I have been through, this weekend trip to Chicago was well needed. I didn’t plan it because Emily said everything was arranged and all I needed to do was to monitor her driving on the road. Yes, that sounds “easy” since I am struggling to get my license myself, though I don’t think it’s much of a deal after I got my first car last week. It’s only a matter of time for me, but I absolutely thought it wasn’t so right to depend on me completely. Chicago was a nice place and I loved it the moment I got there even though we were trapped in a huge thunderstorm while driving on Friday night. The excitement and curiosity as well as the slight familiarity that appeared occasionally at the bottom of my heart put me in a good mood throughout the trip. Emily’s friend took us to the China Town in his Porches SUV to have each meal there in all different restaurants and I was amazed by all those various choices those lucky Chicago people could have. I mean, everything seemed to be better, including its own public library where I wrote my report for Monday thanks to its free Wi-Fi. I could totally live there if I had the money and I wouldn’t mind its hush winter that people are complaining about. I love snow anyway. The beach, the Bean, the big eye ball beside a law school and everything else gave that city so much more to expect and to enjoy. A moment away from my everyday life was like everything near me was sucked away all of a sudden. I knew it’s impossible but I wished that when I got back to Cincinnati, I could have been a new me. Life’s not that simple after all. Despite the fact that I lost something in my life I thought I could have been happy with, I do think there are millions of reasons to live better and to treat myself better after indulging myself into this endless grief lately thinking maybe my mom was right that nobody likes me. Letting others walk over me wasn’t good and it should be stopped. I cannot say that I learned the lesson of my life after this trip, but I did learn a lot, especially after Emily got her ticket for speeding in Indiana. I felt guilty not to monitor her enough to keep her away from that cop, but I genuinely didn’t know what else I could have done other than reminding her to slow down and watch out every 10 minutes for 5 hours on the road. It was a bloody lesson for both of us.
I would go back to Chicago again, because there are so many things to do there…This is not the ending but the beginning, I am sure.