I am an emotional person--sometimes high and sometimes low. Maybe everybody is the same, and the statement I just made is just nonsense. Being under the pressure that I should do more research now doesn't really make me feel that I am supposed to do whatever in the lab. Living alone in my dorm has me to lose the prodding that I used to depend on, which makes me getting lazier and lazier and living in the illusion that will doom me to failure. Ever since the same time in last year, the insatiable greed for fun and instant joy just grows so fast inside me, and I don't know when it stops. Or maybe because of the lack of the determination, right now I am just a weak person. It would be really satisfactory if one day I can tell myself that my day is so stuffed like I used to do when in junior high. But the thing is I am really scared that those days may never come back if there are no any major changes at present.
It's absolutely high time to understand that it's quite urgent now to start my schedules. Ironically, I am always writing this down and never did it...Yes, I am so trapped right now!