Never did I realize how fast time is slipping away until I look at the calendar at the end of the day each night. I thought things would stay the same, but when I turn back I find many things have changed or have been changing. Fish got married last weekend and I feel happy for her. Dr. Lee went back to Korea because his father died and he left in such a hurry that we didn’t know what was going on. It was a shock for me as well, and I couldn’t help but wonder if this road is the right for me after all, because being alone here in the USA does make me feel vulnerable sometimes and I am scared that what if something happens here or there, I might not be able to handle it. It is true that in order to get something, we have to pay for that-nothing is free or I’d rather say that I am not that lucky to get the free meals. Whatever I want to get, I have to fight for it. And on the way to get what we need, we are losing something at the same time. Precious or not, we won’t realize it until later when probably it’s too late. I guess this is life because we are not gods, nor are we supermen. Maybe there is something beautiful lying within these things, but I just couldn’t find it at the moment. Or it’s just purely ugly inside the things that are happening around. I cannot stop to ponder to get the true meanings, because I cannot afford the time or the energy. It’s always the darkest before the dawn and I have been telling myself this since I was still in college struggling for my straight A’s. It seems the truth doesn’t change and it’s one thing we can hold on to, not having doubt about. Or maybe I think too much before each move I take and it’s no good. I have no idea at this moment of my life, because I am getting there.
I wish all the best to those people I care and love.