Thoughts

Now I really start to hate the fact that each time I wrote something here, my mom is going to ask me about it when I talk to her on the phone. I am a grown man, and I know how to handle things by myself in my ways. Or maybe I am just being tough since she loves me and she wants to help. But in my opinion, now that there is nothing she can do to help me, she might as well enjoy her life and live happily. I know that moms don’t agree with me on this, but it makes me feel shameful if I am going to ask help from home again. I was supported by my family since I was born till my MS graduation in China, and now I can be proud of myself that I am depending on myself. It’s time I figured out ways to be a good son to make my family proud and happy…As I indulged myself completely in scientific research here, it’s easier to ignore things that are important in my life. People change as time goes by, and it’s quite certain that I am going to change after 5 years. But I want myself to be like someone I wouldn’t loathe then. There are things that I have lost or I have been losing, and there are things I am gaining at the same time. I wish all the best to myself, as sometimes we just cannot control where we are heading to or what is going to happen in our lives.

After almost 6 months of being here, I am returning to the person that I have been familiar with for years. Because new things don’t seem to be new here, and life is just combined of daily routines things each minute. No change is needed yet, but I do feel there is something I should do to make life more colorful and more worthwhile. What are needed are determination and patience. As much as I claim that I am experienced enough, there are more things I don’t understand on the way. I am humbled as I am growing to the person I hope I could admire.