So I have been working and studying since I knew I am supposed to work in the lab, and I quite appreciate the chance I got here. Others might have the age advantage here, but I know my ways around better than some of them. I know the age advantage is going to play a more important role as time goes by, but it was my choice and I respected it. Once I made my decision, I guess there is no way to turn it back. It sounds crazy but that’s how I got here. After some sort of adjustment and frustration during the past two weeks, things are getting clearer here, and it’s getting in the way in favor of me. The only thing I need to tell myself here is I don’t screw up with the opportunity this time. There are something I know better than others and I think it’s simply because I am older than them. If I stay where I am right now, I am just going to lose what I have. I don’t have time for that any more. So I pretty much think I was kindly granted the second chance to study and work here. It’s been good and amazing since I got here, generally. After I finished my homework at 2am last night, I looked myself in the mirror and smiled. Because the long lost accomplishment kind of feeling was back. Although the outcome might not be so desirable, I was glad I could still indulge myself into either Fourier’s Law and Newton’s Cooling Law or loads of differential equations to get the result I wanted.
Our lab was extending last week, and that was why I couldn’t really sit down and work in the office. As things are settling down, including the nice and warm heating in here, I am quite satisfied with the new lab and everything-I can even bring my lunch here and I can bring my swim trunk as well! One big difference here is it’s getting so cold since last week, and the temperature is going to drop to ice point on Saturday. I cannot imagine this kind of weather if I was in Shanghai. I mean it’s only this cold in December in Shanghai. But it doesn’t really matter, since I wear T-shirts inside the room anyway. For a southerner from China like me, the heating system is something new to me and I like it. I still talk to my mom on the phone or online regularly, and it’s no big difference as my mom told me, since we were like the same when I was in Shanghai as well.
I cried last night when I was watching “Bobby”. I know it sounds weird, but when I saw those innocent people got shot while Kennedy was shot in the kitchen, I just couldn’t hold my tears. For whatever reason, I need some tears, no matter it’s just because of one simple touch of the soul or it’s just because I think life is too hard for any one of us here. I felt better afterwards and I needed that to trigger my inner inspiration and feelings. Being numb and cold is not something I would like to see or anybody would like to see, for that matter. We feel good while we get greeted on the road by people, even if they are strangers. It’s the basic courtesy that is missing in some parts of the world. I miss my childhood in a small town where people were nice to each other and people helped each other. But the thing between people vanished after I moved to a bigger city with my parents, where I highly doubt that pure and genuine thing might be existing now.
There are more thing awaiting me in front and I could have different opinions after that; but all in all, I am happy at this point and I only wish it can last longer, although believing eternity is as the same as being ignorant.