There are some people who can work and study efficiently from the very beginning till the very end without any hesitation or stop, and I really admire those kind of people who I have been dreaming of to be when I got into elementary school. But I am me, and nothing can change that. I have my gifts and I have my own of way of doing things. It's just that I need something to motivate the inner me.
Right now, it's the rainy season here in Shanghai, and it's unbearably swelteringly hot and sticky. I can't get back home now, because school won't end until the mid July. So what I am doing every day is wasting my time. But hopefully, things will change after I get some prods which I need deperately as the compliments that I need.
I am still at this crucial cross roads. Maybe I am a little bit late to realize what the real situation is, but I somehow still believe that I can make this through, and I will be fine. Or maybe I am just being too much blindly optimistic, and I have been overrating myself for some time, which is very silly. Anyhow, I still believe in myself that my day will come...
Hope these are not just the delusions of grandeur.