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Saturday, April 24, 2010

The Pivotal Moment

There is always a second chance, but who wants to fail for the first time and make the extra effort to do the same thing again. It might quite well be harder the next time because of the pressure and the same difficult situation. There were lots of cases like this that I have seen, although I did not necessarily experience myself. So after next week, no matter how I do it, I hope life would get easier. I mean even for the worst case, I would have the summer to study if it’s needed-I genuinely hope not. Is it too late right now? I wouldn’t say so if I was still in undergrad school when I could study overnight without sleeping, but now, I don’t have the inner strength any more. Or maybe it’s not necessary, because there are so many more responsibilities that I have to take care of. It’s no good to suffer the pressure all by myself and it’s good to vent the feelings or share the pressure with someone else. And for that I am glad I could always find someone to talk to. Or at least I still have this pure place to say things I want to say to make myself feel better. But maybe it would be more helpful to think positively no matter how much stress there is. No free lunch in the world, and I have to pay for whatever comes my way. As life is going on here, I am gradually getting used to it. The dreams and wishes seem to leaving me behind, does this mean I am getting realistic and mature? Or maybe I am just tired. I don’t want people I care about to get worried. All I can say here is that I am growing and that I am fine.

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