Thursday, August 6, 2009

Prior To It

Time seems to be frozen every time I find something big is going to happen, and the time always seems to tough and uneasy before it. Is that the general principle of the nature or is it because that’s just how I feel? Or maybe both. I tend to stay where I am and enjoy every bit of the time, and inevitably the laziness and numbness generate inside which hold me back from where I should be heading. But this time, I will have to be pushed and prodded as the outside strength is insurmountable and powerful, thanks to the position where I am right now which divides me from where I would have been otherwise. When I have done what were mandatory, things are just going on seemingly naturally afterwards, like now. Even when it looks dramatic, it’s only peaceful and quiet to me-my shocking moment has long passed while I am more expecting sort of a culture shock in the next few months.  Still, mom and I talk a lot on the phone and I respect her ideas and everything, since she has experienced much more and she knows how to deal with massive changes. It’s not complicated because I have information resources to turn to, but it’s petty yet critical since any little false might get me into a future plague. Let’s hope for the best. As much as I would love to see each friend of mine before my final departure, I am afraid it’s not going to be practical. There won’t be a farewell party as we planned, since time is limited and it slips away fast. “I came here quietly, and I shall leave peacefully without a trace.” Well, I think it’s rude to just leave without the courtesy to say goodbye. We, at least most of us, will have the last dinner and the last hangout soon before I get kicked out of the apartment by the landlord and before my resignation. Shanghai’s been good to me and she deserves to be remembered well by me.

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