I got one text message today, telling me that one of my high school classmates will get married tomorrow in Chengdu, which caught me off-guard. She is a smart and beautiful girl from a rich family, and she played around a lot in high school. There are some people hated her so much, and also there are some people who loved her very much. I was one of her friends who helped her in English tests, and I appreciated her intelligence. I never expected that she would settle down in her early 20s, because she has the capability to make other guys fall for her. Well, maybe time can really change a person that much, or she is just a girl, hoping to find true love like any other girls. Anyways, it's good that she finally found the right man for her, and congratulations on her!
I went to see Mai last night, and we had a fight. I cried, and got despaired. I don't know why sometimes life is so hard. When you fall for someone deeply, it would be very easy to get hurt. Maybe I haven't been through enough in my life, or I lack some kind of experience. But lately, I really feel that I don't need dramas and I need to be happy. I would still stick to Mai, and I will try to make this work no matter hard it will be. After all, giving up would be the last thing I would say to myself. As I promised myself, no matter how hard life could be, I will be fine!
I didn't know I would write this blog from the very beginning till now, and when I look back, 2 years seem to be as short as blinking eyes. Now, I really feel that this space is like my diary, and I can write whatever I want. Sometimes, only diary can be the good listener. Sounds kind of sad, huh? LOL...Well, I am not letting emotions take me over, nor am I being such a girl, but I realized that it is really good to write things down when I feel like. Maybe this is some sort of therapy that can release my stress and pressure sometimes.
Recently, I feel that I have been living an invisible life, and this life style is not really healthy, to be honest. I need to be stronger and sit down to think for myself. I have assigned many tasks to myself which are beyond what I am able to handle. I overestimated myself like I always did. After all, I am not a superman. Well, like always when I reach my limitation, I would not take any more. That is not how I want to end, but what can I do right now? Why is it so hard for me to make some decesions when they are needed?