Friday, July 22, 2005


Winding Road

It has been some time since I left my university, and many of my classmates have gone to their job positions. Lately, I am pretty numb.It seems that I have gone back to this Feberary when I was numb after the harsh post graduate entrance examniation. It was the precious relaxation time after the hard work, but now I don't have that pressure-everything's settled down. How come I feel numb again? Is it some kinda vacation symtom that I have? As a matter of fact, the answer just lies on my mind...( BTW I am 100% mentally healthy, don't think about it):P


I met some of my college friends online, the first words they say to me was" how I wish I could go back to our college life again"...Obviously, the pressent situations they met is not what they were expecting. Surely, you need some time to adapt yourself to the brand new environment that you have never been to before. And also it's much easier for me to say here than to do in the real situation. I admit that, but my point is that Hold on, everything's gonna be ok. Yeah, these words are for my buddies.


 Now thinking about having a job, it seems like an unimaginable task that I am always avoiding to think about. Having a job means you have to face the reality; you have to lift the burden of life by yourself; you have to think about everything that seemed far away from you when you were in college...Above all, it means you will never fulfil your dream.  Well, is it really so bad that it's why you wanna study further??  Of course no. I have to say I  am always trying to  avoid having a job till now. For most of the time, when I heard someone find a job, I just don't think about it,trying to ignore that. But the reality just lies in there, you have to face it sooner or later. Sometimes I really feel so ashamed of myself that I am, HELLO??!!, 23 years old, and I don't earn my living myself, I don't even make meals by myself...what am I? 12 years old? I feel paradoxical,really. Maybe we have to find the best balanced point in our life. And for most of time, we are trying to find that point somehow. It may be late, it may be early, but the bottom line is we will all go to the same destination eventually, but what we did may differ a lot from one another. do you believe in destiny? sometimes I ponder this, and wonder this...


At all my friends in working, in studying, in whichever field you are,







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