Friday, May 20, 2011

So Long, Grandma

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I wanted to write something on May 7th when my grandma passed away, but I didn’t know what to write even though there are so many things I thought I could write. I told myself that probably when things finally sink in, I might be able to have thoughts and the summaries of the lessons I have learned. My parents didn’t inform me as I guessed they don’t want me to get worried but I got the news somehow. Sometimes or maybe for most of the time, it’s much easier to communicate with our peers. But I have not no complaints other than the agony of the separation from my family. In order to get something, we have to pay the price but lately I have been really doubting if the price I paid would be worth it eventually. Maybe it won’t unless the bad karma can be turned around or the spinning wheel can roll up again. Mom told me that at least, grandma didn’t suffer too much when she left and she was peaceful in bed with her eyes closed. Maybe when something is going to happen, people tend to have a feeling of it. Grandma always tended to hide her feelings deep inside and she was quite subtle but last time I talked to her on the phone she told me that she missed me very much. Through her weak and distorted voice, I sensed that probably she knew something and I was praying for her for the best from the other side of the globe. In the past 6 months mom spent all her time in the hospital taking care of her almost every day and I could barely talk to her online like I used to. Things didn’t look so good, but mom and dad always let me hear the good news instead of giving me any pressure. Along with the pain and grief inside my heart, I genuinely hope my grandmother rest in peach.

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