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Saturday, September 27, 2025

I Can View It From There Anytime

 Sometimes the best thing could happen when you don't really plan. I try to be a planner myself, though I also enjoy being spontaneous a lot of times. The last time I spent time in the Appalachian area was at Smokey Mountain Nation Park many years ago. I thought I have seen it all then. Clearly I was wrong. After driving on a small portion of the Blue Ridge Parkway on a misty late afternoon, it has been a blessing to know there are plenty of opportunities to view the mountain ridges at each overlook. The fog after the rain slowly moving on the mountain tops was magnificent. There were people sitting at the back of their van enjoying the view alone quietly. There were people simply covering themselves with a blanket on the ground with the view right in front of them. I chose to climb on the cliff to see as much as I could see because I know my time was limited. I couldn't ask for more with this view and I can take it anytime! The mountains are smokin'!

Tuesday, August 19, 2025

Summer is Ending

So finally the summer is coming to an end. Surely I will remember this summer. Summer used to be fun time with infinity possibilities of things to do. But this time, rhythm was built in a way that wasn't what I envisioned. I didn't travel as what I thought I would have and this limbo state is suffocating. I think it's a good thing that it's almost over.

Monday, July 7, 2025

July

I thought this summer would have been great, but when reality hit, I really don't know when things will get better. It's always easy to destruct than to construct-way more easier. Destruction costs nothing but impulsion, but construction takes everything from perseverance, wisdom, strength, and so many more. I am trying to keep my sanity every day and I don't remember last time the pain was so consistently long. It's been difficult but I think I can still do it...

Thursday, May 22, 2025

Cold May

 May is almost over and it wasn't warm this month. Memorial Day weekend is also supposed to be cold. That's what I have to deal with, so let it be. I cannot change what's around me, so I will just have to get used to it.

I took Andrew to Hoover Dam Reservoir to kayak last week and he apparently was not scared of water, unlike Eddie or Pierre. Andrew almost jumped out of the kayak to chase those geese who were spooked by us. I never knew it was so much fun to kayak on Hoover Dam and it's good to discover something new. Knowing it's not far from home is really great. It was such a peaceful moment to be on the water, knowing everything else is on the shore behind us.


Friday, April 18, 2025

This Spring

 This spring feels like winter that's perpetually frozen and I am so drained even when I know bad times won't last forever. I was hoping to see sunlight after Tuesday lunch but I am realizing reality is probably more complicated than I anticipated. I tried and I gave it all. It's almost like I pushed a pause button on my life and I know that's not fair. Every day is supposed to beautiful but there are always those moments when it's hard to breathe. I told Uncle Larry that I am scared of those dark moments and I don't know what those are. He said maybe it's panic attack. I think I will take it at least I know I am ok. 

Spring is always my favorite although it's short here. Andrew still struggles with using the bathroom on his own in the backyard. I wish Pierre and Eddie could teach him how to run around in the yard and bark at neighbor's bigger dogs whenever they want. Andrew is scared of everything and maybe the yard is indeed too big for him alone-I am worried a big bird could take him away since he is alone. I loved that he followed me when I mowed the grass. I am sure he knows he is vulnerable too since his brothers are not here to protect him. He doesn't seem to mind loud noise from the lawn mower and apparently following me is his first priority.